What's in a name? In The Namesake, Gogol goes through a major transformation through a name change. Was his transformation solely a result of his name change? In class, the student group presenting on the Namesake asked how people felt about changing their names and if anyone of us had ever changed our names. While I've never technically, or legally, changed my name, I feel like I've been through a similar transformation as Gogol. Throughout my life the people close to me have fit into one of two categories: those who know me as Los and those who know me as Carlos. I know it sounds a little bipolar, which I’m not (at least I don’t think I am), but the two are radically different.
Los
Athletic – Played football, basketball, and baseball in high school.
Charismatic – Life of the party.
Confident – Doesn’t second-guess self and takes initiative.
Almost a high school dropout – escaped high school with a 2.1 GPA.
Short tempered – Always getting into fights
Carlos
Shy – More likely to spend a whole day without saying anything to anyone
Bookworm – 3.63 cumulative GPA through City College and UC Berkeley
Hard working – Work by day, school by night
Insecure – Always worried about what others think
Caring – Looks after niece and nephew, making sure they don’t make the same mistakes
To my parents, family, and acquaintances I am Carlos. And to my closer friends, I am Los. There’s no switch that transforms one into the other, and there’s quite a bit of overlap between the two. Los can’t talk to a girl. Carlos thrives in demanding situations. There are people who know me as both.
I was never a superstar basketball player or anything like that, but I was fairly good. And because it was one of the few things I did well in high school, I took pride in it. People saw the pride, mistook it for arrogance and labeled me a jock. People expected me to act a certain way and I, looking to fit in, perpetuated the situation.
On the other hand, after I graduated from high school, I decided to move to Miami in order to get my life together. It was the first time in my life that I had to fend for myself. My parents were no longer around to pay for rent or put food on the table. Overnight I became responsible for myself, not missing a day of work or ever being late with rent.
Much how like Gogol was transformed and enabled to talk to the girl at the party after first introducing himself as Nikhil, I was transformed the first time I was called Los. We were scrimmaging against each another during basketball practice freshmen year of high school. A team member puts up a shot that hits off the backboard and rim. I weave around the defender trying to screen me out and attack the ball, grabbing it as it leaves the rim. In a single fluid motion, I land on the ground and jump back up with the ball, laying it up while slapping the backboard with authority. “Uhhhh… Los! That was beastly,” exclaimed my team mate as we ran back on defense.
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